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Life is fragile

8/12/2018

2 Comments

 
I started writing this post about two weeks ago, but for some reason, I found it hard to finish then, now it's not hard anymore, even though the ending is quite different than I imagined. 😢 The beginning of this post is written after being in Indonesia for two weeks and ending now when I have already returned home, back to Finland.

I have now lived on this small Indonesian Gili Air island for about two weeks. Last week it suddenly hit me. I realized that the biggest dream that I have ever had is now a reality. I have dreamt about working under the Asian sun, teaching yoga, and enjoying the ocean view and the perfect weather.

I teach yoga six days a week (about 7-10 hours) in a place called: "H2O yoga and meditation center". I also do karma yoga two hours daily, and this covers my living at the center.
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One thought stopped me thinking about life a few times. At first, the thought took me over like a tsunami; this was probably two days after my arrival. I sat on the beach enjoying the warm weather and the ocean, realizing that everything that I had ever dreamt of has now come true. And once I realized it fully, I was so incredibly happy. But… What happens then? What happens after everything that you have ever dreamt of actually come true? Do I have to think about new dreams? I shared this fear with my friend, and she said it so wisely, now you just have to live your dream, you don’t need new dreams. ❤

Every day on this island is like a dream to me. I keep staring at the ocean, and I feel like I have to pinch myself so I can feel that this is true. I mean, everything that led me into this situation has been like a dream to me, and it all happened so fast. ​
After the first two weeks, I started to feel like home on the island, but still, I was also so restless and unsure about the future and whether I do want to stay there for the next seven months or not. I was sure that it was mostly about the fact that I was missing my routines and was hoping that those routines would give me balance and stability to live there. So I focused on my yoga practice and studying more about yoga and going to the gym regularly, still feeling restless somehow. 

On Sunday, 5.8. after being on the island for exactly one month, I talked with my boss about my future in the center, and we agreed that I would continue to teach there for the next 7 months. It would mean that I’d get more responsibilities to also teach on retreats and workshops. I have to admit that after this conversation, I still was unsure about this decision but then thought it’s only 7 months, and those 7 months would be such an excellent opportunity for me. It was all that I had ever dreamt of; teaching yoga daily.
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The day before, I had a minor sunstroke, and on that Sunday evening, I was thinking that I do have to eat something after fasting for one day even though I still didn’t feel that good. At 6.30 PM, I hopped on my bike and cycled to one of my favorite restaurants on the island and found out that it was closed. I felt disappointed when I headed to the beach road, where guys from my favorite coffee place wondered where I had been for the past few days. I continued riding by the ocean to the other end of the island because I suddenly got this urge for french fries, and I knew just where to get the best ones. I sat on the beach eating even though wind on that night was kind of rough. I ate my fries reluctantly, thinking they aren’t that good after all. ​ 
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My office view at Orong Villages
When I left the beach, I thought that I had to go to the grocery store because I wasn’t feeling that good, and I hoped that Sprite would help me. I drove to Siti Shop (island’s supermarket) and realized it was closed. Damn, does everything have to be closed today, I was wondering. The next small shop was nearby, so I decided to go there. I was searching through the drink collection, unable to decide on what do I want after all. Then all of a sudden, the building started to shake. I immediately realized what was going on rushing to the door, thinking that I’m good here. Luckily the clerk threw me out of there. The earthquake just kept on going. Afterward, somebody told it lasted for one minute. I don’t know how long it took, but it was really powerful. It felt like it was shaking a little at first and then being harsher and, in a way, more demanding. My bike fell on the street, and then the electricity went off. After that, the earth under me was moving in such a way that I also fell on the road. And then there was nothing. I waited for a while and took my bike and my phone, so I would have a flashlight to find my way home. Luckily I was able to send one message home (to Finland) saying that there was a strong quake, and I was ok and soon after that, phones didn’t work anymore.
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I had only about 200 meters to home, and there was minor chaos on the way. A concrete fence of one building was in the middle of the street, and buildings were damaged. Outside one shop, there was a young girl who was crying dreary. I stopped and asked if she was ok. She assured she was but was worried about her mother. I tried to comfort her, telling her that I was sure that her mother was just fine. Then I continued my way home. Yon from our Good Earth Cafe was on the street, pointing the way with a flashlight telling me that it might not be safe to go back to H2O. I turned around and bumped into Jeneva, our new yoga teacher, who arrived H2O a few days ago. She had hurt her leg and didn't have any shoes on. She told me that she had been in the main house when the quake started. The ceiling of her room was damaged, and it had been difficult for her to get out of the building. Leaning into each other, we headed on to our neighbor's yard, where we found other people as well, locals and tourists. Sitting on the ground scared and shaking, we felt the first of the hundreds of aftershocks, wondering if the electricity pole on the street could fall on us. 
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A little while later, we heard our boss Jon's voice on the street from the H2O direction. We went to talk to him. Jon told us there is this hill about 100 meters from the road and he knew that some people went there. And if we wanted, he could show us the way. Our island is almost flat, and this hill couldn't be more than 10 meters high, but still, open space felt a suitable place where we could spend our night. The field was full of people; we found our friend Becci and our yoga teacher Clare there. Quite quickly, we decided to spend our night there, and later I found out that the field was cows pasture. 😉 While in there, we were admiring the starry sky and countless shooting stars. And we were soon wondering about the silence on the island where usually is not that quiet because at least the roosters were always telling each other where they were. Sometimes the silence was broken by horses neigh, which made us wonder what they have just sensed, which we don't know anything about. Then it was all quiet again. After a while, we heard a wave of waves, and probably everyone was thinking, that hopefully, that rush will not come near us in the form of a tsunami. At some point, the silence was broken by the dog barking from Lombok. In addition to our worry, the temperature might drop under 20 degrees, which might be a bit cold when wearing only shorts and a top. Clare and Becci decided to go back to their houses and get some blankets for us. After that, all of us four settled down on one round blanked, which diameter was probably 1,2 meters, trying to get some sleep. There were aftershocks constantly, and in between those shocks, you could feel how the earth trembled. It felt like it never settled down. Still, I think all of us managed to sleep that night. 
At dawn, everybody was leaving the hill. We headed to Becci's and Clare's. Once there, we found out that there is a risk of those places collapsing at any time, so Jeneva and I decided to head back to H2O immediately and collect our stuff. H2O was there, but the main house was quite severely damaged. I got my things from my room, and after that, we all gathered outside and had morning tea. Becci came back a while later, chatting with some of the guests. She was already making plans to get to Lombok or anywhere from the island. I, on the other hand, had no clue what I was going to do. And I have to say I was numb. I didn't speak anything because I couldn't. Fortunately, Becci was demanding me to decide to tell that it's my well-being that we are talking about now, it's my life, and it's about staying alive. So I packed my luggage and said goodbye to everyone, and there we were, ready to leave. The way to the harbor was chaotic; the hotel under construction had major cracks all over, collapsed buildings, and a dead body. Harbor was also in chaos. Everyone was trying to find a boat and way out of the island.  It took us probably about two hours before we got on to a boat. Unfortunately, I have to say that some people were smelling money in the situation we were in, which means that our despair and panic were also taken advantage of. I understand that our situation was far better than theirs, but I was still sad to witness this. The boat ride that usually costs 12 000 rupiahs was now 50 000. On Lombok, the situation concerning the help wasn't any better. Ministery of foreign affairs instructed that local authorities will assist us further, but local policemen did not speak any English, and they didn't seem to be that eager to help us either; unfortunately. We continued further inland, trying to find a bus to the airport. 
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Finally, we found a bus which had space for us. Even though we found our way out of the harbor, I felt sad about the fact how little they cared about us in this situation, hoping it would have been more like "hey, we are in this together". From the chaos, we eventually got to the airport and to Kuta Lombok, where Becci was holidaying just a week before. When we were there, we thought we had earned a good cup of coffee.

By the cup of coffee, we were thinking about our next move. Or actually, Becci was, I was desperately trying to find my way (flight) out from Lombok to Bali, anywhere actually. Connection in that cafe was so poor that I asked my friend from Bali to help me find a flight. She also told me that I'm welcome to spend some time at her house. Finally, after an hour, I found a flight to Kuala Lumpur on Tuesday night. Meanwhile, Becci had found us a place to sleep the next night, and next, we headed to check that place out. It was a two-story building, and our room was on the ground floor, which made us a little tense because we could still feel the aftershock in Kuta Lombok. We were investigating the cracks on the walls, deciding that it probably is just fine for us for that one night. The real issue for us staying there was actual towels or lack of them. 😉 We asked the staff to bring us towels, and they told us all the towels are in the laundry at that moment, but we would get fresh towels the next day. But when you haven't showered for two days, and you had slept on the cows' pasture, this probably is not the thing you want to hear. And because they were reluctant to get us towels from somewhere, we decided that maybe it's better to stay somewhere else. 

The next place was quite far, and it was surely kind of hard to find. It was in the middle of the village among the locals. Once we got there, we were told that they are fully booked. But they told us that in the same yard there was this one house with a room and Becci negotiate a room for us for 150 000 rupiahs. This deal also included fresh towels. 😊 We settled in fully aware of the aftershocks that could be felt under our feet from time to time. And we could only laugh when we realized there is a mosque in the courtyard less than 50 meters away from our house, which would mean the wake-up call around five in the morning. Still, we were so happy that we found a place and that the place was only one story high, and there weren't any cracks on the walls of that place (and seriously, I'll never look at the cracks on the buildings the same way than before).

Before we crawled into bed that night, we placed all our stuff by the door just in case there is a sudden need to leave the building. A couple of stronger aftershocks woke us up from our sleep and got us outside, where also the locals were wondering about the situation. We agreed that maybe we sleep in shifts that night just in case. After 2 AM, we decided that maybe we just sleep. All that we had been through was so exhausting that Becci didn't even hear to the mosque in the morning and I only witness the first seconds of it and then fell asleep again.
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Our little home in the middle of the village
In the morning, I was still unsure where I would head next, but in the end, however, I booked a flight to Finland on Friday. Around 2 PM, we headed to the airport so that Becci could continue to Bali and me to Kuala Lumpur. At the airport, we met siblings who were sleeping just next to us on that night on the hill and one couple that we met somewhere along the way. And we all had only one goal in mind, to get back home safely. 

When I was finally safe in the hotel room in Kuala Lumpur, I broke into tears. Not only because I realized that I was safe from the quakes (hopefully) but because I didn't know what the situation of some people was, people that I've met during this month. I was worried about boys at our cafe, all of them were always so funny, telling jokes which I mostly didn't get but they always made me laugh so hard. They had such good vibes. I also wonder about boys and girls at Orong Villages, who took care of my caffeine needs, always smiling and asking how I was even if I was just passing by them on the beach. Our pineapple lady Hati, who came on to Gili Air from Lombok every day to work on the beach. The family who prepared my daily curry portion at Warung ZZZ, whose living room was the restaurant "hall." Boys at Musa Cookery, whose "Hello Finland, how are you?" greetings I can still hear in my head. Not to mention all the wonderful people I did not even have a chance to get to know. In general, all the people who worked on the island had families on Lombok, and I can only hope that people that I know are all alive and that they'll get through this. ❤
One of the first sane thoughts, while living in the middle of this chaos, was that I need to get rid of the stuff I don't need. I don't know where that came from, but it was an obvious and strong idea. It is quite meaningless how much stuff you have if you are dealing with life and death. And I do have so much more than enough. And even though I am starting point again in my life, without a job and a plan, I do want to help these people who have lost everything. And who is entirely dependent on outside support and help. And the thing I'm now talking about is clean drinking water and food. Have you got $10 to spare? You can now also help the people I just told you about. Employees at H2O and their communities that have been affected by the devastation of the recent earthquakes. They all live in Lombok; some have lost family members, some of their homes either partly or totally, and have only a limited amount of water and food. And because there are aftershocks all the time, there aren't any guarantees that the situation will settle soon.
What does $10 buy you in Lombok? 
  • One bag of 20kg cement
  • Enough food and water for 20 people
  • 10 liters of fuel to run generators 
  • 3 t-shirts.
Every Monday, you can see the update from H2O's Facebook page on how it has been distributed. (https://www.facebook.com/h2oyogaandmeditation/)  
How to do it? Just click on the link at the bottom of this post, scroll to the bottom of the page and use the PayPal' extras' icon to make your donation. Please spread the love. ❤
http://www.h2oyogaandmeditation.com/4-day-unlimited-yoga-packages/

Keep in mind that even the smallest amount of money could be a lifesaver. ❤
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Today is new day. Full of endless possibilities. Make a difference. ❤
2 Comments
Susanna Leppänen
8/28/2018 11:06:28 pm

Heippa!

Oltiin silloin samaan aikaan Gili Airilla ja yövyttiin myös siellä H2O joogassa. Aleksin kanssa alettiin tässä miettimään, että mitenhän sinulla menee ja löydettiinkin sun blogi. Tosi kiva kuulla että kaikki on sulla hyvin. Se oli kyllä hirveen hurja kokemus, eikä sitä varmasti unohda koskaan. Ollaan funtsittu kyllä ihan samanlaisia asioita järistyksen aikana ja sen jälkeen, meilläkin oli kauan mielessä että olisko sittenkin pitänyt jäädä sinne auttamaan. Ollaan kyllä lahjotettu sinne jonkin verran rahaa H2O:n ja yhden organisaation kautta, ja asiat ja ihmiset siellä on edelleen mielessä.
Mekin lähdettiin silloin veneellä Lombokiin ja löydettiin kuorma-auto, mikä kuskasi meidät lentokentälle. Lentoja ei enää saatu kuin vasta muutaman päivän päähän ja haluttiin vain nopeasti pois ja lähdetiinkin yölautalla Balille. Sieltä lennettiin seuraavana päivänä myöskin Kuala Lumpuriin. Aika sattuma, että sinäkin sillon olit siellä!
Mitä sinulla on nyt suunnitelmissa? Oli mahtava lukea tämä sun blogiteksti.
Tsemppiä tulevaan!
T. Aleksi ja Susanna

Reply
Hanne
8/29/2018 12:23:52 pm

<3 Ihanaa, että teillä on kaikki hyvin ja pääsitte turvaan. Onhan tuo semmonen kokemus, mikä muuttaa kaiken ja vanhaan ei ole enää paluuta. Ja nyt kun asiaa miettii, niin en tätä kokemusta kyllä poiskaan antais, jos näin nyt voi sanoa. Oletteko nyt jo kotiutunut Suomeen?

Ihan tarkalleen en suunnitelmista osaa sanoa. Vahvasti kuitenkin olen sitä mieltä, että lähitulevaisuudessani siintää Intia ja jooga hyvin vahvasti.

Mahtavaa, että otitte yhteyttä. Tsemppiä myös teille. <3

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    Hanne Nousiainen

    * Yoga Teacher
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    This blog is mainly about yoga and "revealing" myths about yoga. Purpose is to share useful information about yoga and its overall benefits. 


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