Blog Posts

Your home is where your heart is

11/24/2018

My last two posts have been about yoga and I was planning to continue posting stuff about yoga but then something else came into my mind, something that I have discovered while being in India almost two months now. Oh my, time really flies! 😅

I have mentioned it here before that I have dreamt that I could live somewhere else besides Finland during the dark and cold winter time. I found that the winter period in Finland became more difficult to me year by year. I admit that I didn’t even try to fake that it is somewhat bearable. I just decided to hate winter. And maybe that is reason why I am here now. 😊 Or one of the reasons at least. These past weeks here have showed me again that dreams really can come true if you have courage to pursue them. And if I was wondering before (during the time in Indonesia) what to do when all your dreams come true, I really don’t need to do that anymore. I know that this is the time to enjoy my life fully. This is the time for me to live my dream.

You probably know the saying: Your home is where your heart is. And I think the weeks in India have finally taught me what that saying really means. For the first time, as long as I can remember, I feel like I am home. I am really really good here and there is no reason what so ever to go anywhere. If you are/were around you might see me wandering the streets maybe singing or at least humming, looking up to the sky and wondering the beauty of clouds floating by or just simply sighing really deeply. Yeah, that is me, enjoying life, living in this present moment, wondering how everything can just feel so right. It is me being happy. ❤️

I hope this writing brings you rays of sunshine and warm breeze. I also hope that where ever you are, you find your home and your heart in the exact same place at this very moment and feel that your life is exactly as it should be. And you simply are happy in that place, at this moment and with this breath.

Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life. ❤️

PS. Something really exciting is happening next week, so stay tuned, if you are at all curious what that might be. 😘

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What is Yin yoga?

11/19/2018

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I held my first Yin yoga workshop last weekend and that inspired me to write about the yin yoga here also a little. So, what is yin yoga?

Yin yoga is a slow-paced style of yoga with asanas = yoga postures that are held for longer periods of time. Yin yoga is a passive practice which in best occasion can be also very meditative. Blocks (yoga block is a thing that looks like a brick) and bolsters (pillow which shape reminds of a pipe) are used during the yin practice to open and support the body. The time spend in yin yoga poses is usually 2-5 minutes and most of the poses are seated or reclined poses. The aim of the poses is to affect on connective tissues; the tendons, fascia, and ligaments and increase circulation in the joints and improve flexibility. The secret of the meditative aspect of yin yoga lies in the length of the hold in each pose, which helps to relax the physical body but also the mind.

Unlike other types of yoga, Yin yoga’s roots are actually in Chinese medicine and taoism.

About Yin yoga philosophy
At first Yin philosophy was based mainly on Taoist concepts. Later theories from Indian yoga philosophy was brought to Yin yoga philosophy also. And combination of these two form the Yin yoga philosophy today.

In order to understand the taoism principles, you should learn to be observer of the life around you.
First of the taoist principles is oneness which means that we need to learn to understand that all in the universe is connected. The second of the taoist principles is dynamic balance, two opposites working in motion and balancing each other in the effort to form one. This principle introduces you the yin & yang. Two different, opposite, energies which once joined form a complete energy. The third of the taoist principles is to be the observer and in this role of observer we need to understand the cycle of life. Everything in nature has a cycle and a rhythm; day and night, sun and the moon, four seasons. And of course all living beings have the cycle of birth and death.
The fourth of the taoist principles is harmony. This is the natural state of universe, meaning complete balance in everything. To achieve harmony all the previous three principles need to be practiced.

Ok, I admit that I got little carried away in this subject. 😂

Concept of Yin & Yang
Two halves that move together to complete wholeness. Yin can be stated as shady side and yang as a sunny side. Yin & yang is everywhere around us: night (yin), day (yang), female (yin), male (yang), cold (yin) and hot (yang) and so on.

Asanas
Asanas in Yin yoga are mainly targeting in lower body especially onto hips. We restore a lot of emotions onto our hips. And because of that it is good to knowledge that some emotions might arise. And you can’t always even quite get where they are coming from or what it is, but you might still find yourself crying or laughing in the middle of the practice. In that case, let it all out, let it go, it is nothing to be embarrassed about. If it happens be happy that something starts to unfold for you.

Most of the asanas are very passive but there are also more active form of yin asanas, one might say they actually are yang asanas. In Yin yoga the effort of going into the asana should be 80 %. So we can avoid the practice not to become yang practice. Although it is good to remember that also in yin practice there should be some effort put into asanas.

Longer stay in asana assures also that we are going more deep into the asana once our muscles get tired and relax.

Benefits of practicing Yin yoga
I’d say that yin yoga is very beneficial not only to our bodies but above all to our minds. Physically Yin yoga effects on the deepest tissues of our bodies, so by practicing yin yoga we are able to increase our mobility, decrease pain and open up tensions. With the practice of yin yoga we can increase the energy flow in our bodies.

And then the mental side of the yin yoga which might be even more important nowadays than the physical side. Yin practice activates the parasympathetic nervous system and this helps us to relax. Practice helps us to let go of our thoughts and focus on our breath and what is happening in our bodies right now.

Yin yoga is all about stopping and letting go. Its beauty, subtlety and in a way difficulty you should experience yourself and start the journey into yourself.

Have you already tried Yin yoga?

Relax. You are enough. You do enough.
Breath extra deep, let go, and just live right now
in the moment.
❤️

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What is yoga?

11/12/2018

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Yoga’s roots are in ancient India, where it is considered as old as human civilization. Yoga is about conscious breathing, movement, and stopping. Answer to the question of what yoga is is not that simple though. One might think yoga as meditation, other as an asana practice or something completely different. I’d say, yoga today is mainly about asanas, pranayamas, and meditation. And now if you are thinking about what on earth I am talking about, I will give you a short explanation for these terms.

Asana: commonly used term of a yoga pose, yoga poses form the physical yoga practice.
Pranayama: Life force energy or conscious direction of the prana which basically means breath control and prolongation of the breath. When the breath is voluntarily directed we are able to relax the body and mind, which can open blockages and energy can flow more freely.
Meditation: above all quieting the mind of thoughts, which can be achieved by keeping the focus on the current moment with the help of some action or method. Meditation combines strict concentration into relaxation.

In the past few years yoga has become very popular and I’d say it has become more about the physical practice. Many people come into the world of yoga to increase mobility or maybe more flexible appearance. And whatever the reason I believe yoga is good for everyone. And now that I have said this I have to add that I still hope that more than this physical side can be found from yoga. Because yoga is so much more.

So what on earth I am talking about? Well, maybe I tell a little bit about my own background, maybe it helps you understand how deep yoga actually is.

When I stepped into an Ashtanga yoga class for the very first time over ten years ago I didn’t have any idea of what yoga was. I had heard that Ashtanga is the most demanded form of yoga and that suited me perfectly. Back in those days I ran marathons and practice on my physical limits was my thing and it kept me going. I practiced Ashtanga then nearly two years but the world of yoga didn’t open to me more deeply during that time.

About four years ago I again stepped into an Ashtanga yoga class. By that time I had already said my goodbyes to marathons and I was in some sort of turning point with my "sporty self". This time yoga really hit me hard. Still, the spiritual side of yoga wasn’t the reason why I found myself on a yoga class numerous times a week. The first thing that I noticed was how my body wasn’t aching anymore, my body felt really light in a way. This was kind of major thing for a person who works on a computer the whole day long. Next, I noticed how relaxed I was because of yoga. The practice could take me so deep into myself, into the union between my breath and movement, that I didn’t think anything else. And this was kind of a big thing for me.

The next big thing that yoga taught me was how to be gentle to myself. This is still an ongoing process but I’d say I have come a long way from the world of eating disorder and severe self-image problems. For me, yoga has taught appreciation for everything really. Every time I’m on my yoga mat I really truly appreciate the unique moment, unique feelings of my body and uniqueness of each breath taken during my practice. So, as said before, everything really. And every time I'm on my yoga mat I fall in love with yoga all over again and more deeply. Yoga and love for yoga nowadays are even more than what is mentioned above but I can’t cover all that on one single writing so decided to share only these two things with you today.

How about you? Have you practiced yoga and how it has changed your life? Or has it? ❤️

Yoga is not about self improvement, it's about self acceptance.
- Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa

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Struggling in India

11/4/2018

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It has been exactly one month since I arrived to India. And to tell you the truth, this month hasn’t been all smile and happiness. It has actually been a great struggle. So, what has been going on? Well, let me tell you one part of it.

Like I told you I came here a month ago. And for the first 10 days I was staying at a hotel waiting my actual home to be ready. It actually took one day longer than I had first planned and I had to switch to another property from my original hotel. After that one night my new home was ready and I was able to move there. The place is/was really really great, I mean, I love that house. And especially the shala upstairs which is just so amazing. I have also seen most amazing sunsets at that shala.

Then after two weeks, something came up which meant that I had to find some place else to live. That day everything seemed to be going wrong. First I got this flu, which was of course irritating, then discovered that I have to move, then the protective glass on my phone broke, found out that charger for my computer is broken (and battery was empty). And most crucial thing that day was of course when I went to sleep that night and spotted this huge spider, size of my hand or even bigger, above my bed and my head. I mean if something freaks me out, it’s spiders.

What comes to the moving thing…. I took a few deep breaths and told to myself that endings are merely new beginnings. Luckily I have few local contacts and friends who have been really helpful in this situation and also kept telling me that everything is going to be just amazing (thank you so much for that if you are reading this). 😊 This I also needed to hear because let’s face it, I was really sad and confused about everything. But also because of my friends I saw few places where I could stay and live long term. But still it really felt like India was testing quite a bit. During this week I am now actually “lived” in 4 different places. How nice is that? Haha, not very nice.

Couple days ago I sent voice message to one of my friends and I think I ended that message saying that maybe tomorrow is the best day of my life so far. And yes, I have to say it really was. Friday evening and until yesterday morning there was quite heavy rain but I didn’t let that bother me because I was so determined that it is going to be big day for me. I went to see this room and to tell you the truth, it was love at first sight. I mean there were just so much light in that room, own kitchen and bathroom of course and as a bonus gas, electricity, washing machine and wifi were also provided. I negotiated a good deal for that place and went to see just one more place. That place were also really nice and brand new but there were 3 rooms (fully furnished), kitchen and laundry room so I found that little bit too big for me, even though it was so very very nice. So I went back to that first place and we made a deal for that. By that time the rainy clouds were gone and sun was shining. This I took as a good sign.

So my new home is waiting for me latest on Tuesday but I am thinking that maybe I just move there tomorrow. And really finally settle in India. 😍 I also find that place very inspiring so that might mean that there are going to be more stories and writings in here also. And maybe something new coming up that I am going to share with you here. Stay tuned.

-Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over she began to fly. ❤️

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The year of changes

10/9/2018

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At first, let this writing bring you a nice warm breeze and greetings from India. Today is Movere’s birthday, which is a good reason to go through last year or even years a bit. First thing is first, my baby, my business is 6 years old today. Today and this moment, is very significant to my baby and me.

Time
I’ve been struggling with time or lack of it for the whole time that Movere has existed. It has been because of the fact that I have had that other job, the "real" job, which has taken the most of my time really. During these years I have also searched my place as an entrepreneur and direction where I want to aim my energy and really concentrate.

I think it is also kind of funny that now that I have all the time in the world to devote myself to my business I’m taking a time-out. I have had a feeling for a while now, that as long as I do little bit of everything I’m actually not doing anything properly. And that is partly the reason why Movere is going to be all about yoga in the future and for now.

Letting go
For years now I have told my clients the following: You need to let go of something, so something even better has space to enter into your life. And this is something that I have also done during this year, more than ever. And it has certainly given me more opportunities than I even dared to hope for. And even though letting go isn’t always easy still it has shown me a way into the direction where I have wanted to go and all the way to this present moment, where it is so certain that everything is going exactly how it should go.

Now or never
Experiences during the past year have mold me more than ever. The biggest lesson of all has been the realization that life is now; tomorrow is not promised to anyone. This is of course one major reason to be grateful for this present moment, but also a reason to do things I have wanted to do now, and not just dream about better time to do them. One thing I find even more important than this, and it is what I speak out. I find it so important to say things out load here and now, not to be quiet for sake of pride, shame of some other excuse. Who knows, maybe there is not going to be another chance. ❤

I would like to thank everyone who have shared my journey during this year. ❤

❤ Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never. ❤

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My life after the earthquake

9/25/2018

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How to explain something to a person who hasn’t been through the same experience? This has been very fundamental question on my mind lately. Why it is so? Well, I’ll try to explain...

Ok, first, let’s face, I have been avoiding people a lot during the past month. I’ve been avoiding eye contacts and certain situations that I knew I would need to speak about the earthquake and everything that went on. And I was actually wondering why it is so? I mean I don’t mind speaking about it, I don’t think I have any trauma over the situation. So why do I feel this way? Finally few weeks ago I realized what it is that makes me act this way. The thing is… It may seem from outside that I’m the same person than I was three months ago but inside that person doesn’t exist anymore. And that is actually something that I find very difficult. This makes it difficult for me to melt into the life back home, in Finland I mean.

The situation that I’m in today have made two things (more than that actually but I’m only handling these two now) perfectly clear to me. One is my love for yoga which I think is even more deep now. This was one of the first things I realized after returning back home. It was my comfort and my “tool" to reconnect to my body and soul again. And it was and is so clear that yoga is my present and my future. Other thing is my motherland. Where is that exactly? Ok, this I find very hard to say out loud. As much I appreciate and cherish so many things in Finland, I just don’t feel connected to this country. I have actually talked about this for years now but at this very moment it is so crystal clear to me, I just don’t feel like I belong in here. And it really shouldn’t be a surprise to me, I mean my dharma type is outsider so it certainly explains most of it really. Here is the definition of my dharma type:

Sometimes I think no one really understands me, and no one ever will. I love freedom and need to feel independent and free most of all. Although I can fit into many crowds, I never really feel a part of any of them. I wear many hats but none of them defines me. People may see me as secretive or mysterious, but I am just the way I am—different. By fate or choice I am attracted to foreign lands, cultures, religions, and values and have embraced some of these. I have talents and abilities that are not always recognized, and it can be hard to make a living if I do not compromise with my society. My ambitions are somewhat unique, and I have a quirky way of seeing the world. Sometimes I feel lost and don’t know what my true purpose is, but when I look at others I am reminded of what it is not: I can’t conform to somebody else’s lifestyle just for the sake of security, even though I may not have found my own.

When I read this for the first time I was actually relieved. I mean it just put all the pieces of puzzle into their place. When I was just a little girl I really enjoyed been alone. When my friends came into my house asking me out to play I went of course, because I didn’t want to be the one who was left outside of the gang, but I really felt most comfortable when I was alone doing my own stuff. And even though I had many friends and definitely was one member of the gang, l still felt I was different. When I grew up I remember watching out from the window of my room staring at the clouds missing something that I couldn’t even imagine or put into words. It was just the feeling inside of me that my life is somewhere else. So, now this leads me to the next question, where is my home, where do I belong? It is said that your home is where your heart is. And right now my heart is leading me to somewhere that might be the home for me, in other words, to India. ❤ India, where I’m planning to stay, oh well, for the time being.

So what I’m going to do while there? To find out, stay tuned. ❤

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New moon in September - Moon of change

9/11/2018

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The new moon on the 9.9.2018 was moon of life change. This phase of the moon encouraged to let go of anything old that doesn't serve us anymore. It was time to close one door and open a new one. It was the time for reformation. 🌑

"Some things must die so new ones have room to grow."

New moon in this September has certainly been detoxifying for me. I’m reading this book called Lumoava Nainen (I would like to translate the title to Mesmerizing Woman) by Finnish author Meri Mort and it is said on this book that this is good time for daydreaming. The energy of the new moon is drawing, emptying, dark, dying and at the same time it holds possibility for new opportunities. It gives us a reason to think about the things that we might want to change in our lives? What and what kind of seed we want to manifest and grow? What kind of life we want to live?

And just like the energy of the new moon, I’ve also been withdrawn during the new moon. I have mostly spent time alone. I’m in the middle of this huge cleaning project which I see as the dying energy of the new moon. I’m closing the door of one era and it is at the same time very sad but it also offers great opportunities.

I have travelled into myself during this time and I have discovered something that I didn’t know existed. It has been racking and yet so inevitable. I have found myself crying on the floor, which is the new moon digging out something or anything that has been insensible before. In this book Meri Mort says that we are calling out the wise woman during this phase of the moon. Wise woman understands that in order to see the brightest light, you also have to get to know the darkest shadows. The sides of us that we are trying so hard to hide. She encourages to dive into those unpleasant feelings fearlessly. And this I have certainly done.

Even though it seems that this has been quite an unpleasant time for me I’m still implementing advice from the book saying: Have faith and hope. Be aware of the fact that you are the alchemist of your own life. ❤

Have you noticed that the moon or some specific phase of the moon has some kind of effect on you? How about this new moon did it bring out something special about your life?

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Help needed

8/24/2018

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This blog post is actually a plea. Plea on behalf of my friend who lives in Kerala, India, where severe monsoon rainfalls have caused the worst floods in century.

Last week I was following the news from Kerala with heavy heart. I have friends in Kerala and I was really worried about them and wanted to make sure that everyone is ok and everything is good with them. I would be so happy to be able to say that everything/everyone is good, but… One of my friends has lost everything. It is not just material lost at this point which of cause is also devastating. At this very moment they are lacking clean drinking water and food. Two things that we are often taking for granted. Now imagine if these were taken away? What if there weren’t access for these all of the sudden? What to do then?

I have set up a fundraising campaign to help my friend. I’m really hoping you would be able to contribute to this also. Hoping that you keep in mind that even the smallest amount of money could make a difference and can be a lifesaver. And anything you can give will be so greatly appreciated. Please share the love. Thank you. ❤

gofundme.com/help-needed-in-kerala-india

Facts concerning the Kerala floods:
- Nearly 400 people died
-Over 700 000 people forced to leave their homes
-It is estimated that it will take 20-25 years to bring Kerala back to what it was.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Do all the good you can.
By all the means you can.
In all the ways you can.
In all the places you can.
At all the times you can.
To all the people you can.
As long as ever you can.
-John Wesley
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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I'm ok, I think.

8/17/2018

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How are you doing? I’ve heard this question numerous times during this week. And I want to thank you all for your concerns, support and how you all are looking after me, I really appreciate it. ❤

I wish I’d have answer to that question though but I don’t. There are only random amount of mixed feelings that I can’t even express in words. There are moments when that question makes me wonder if someone has died. And then I realize, yes; some part of me has died. I really can’t express myself correctly on this matter, not yet, but I do know that nothing is ever going to be the same. One moment, one experience, can really change everything and you just can’t go back.

My heart breaks over and over again when thinking about what happened in Indonesia during my last week there. It is not just about my dreams breaking but mostly about the locals and their lifes and the fact that they have lost everything. 😢 And I can’t help but wonder, and ask myself, if I would have been more useful staying there? Should I’ve stayed there to help those who lost everything? Should I have done something differently, instead of being home, safe, trying to connect my life back home, failing completely and feeling so lost.

What next? I don’t know. Everything happens for a reason even though the reason is not so apparent right now. Time will tell. I think I just need to trust life and the fact that everything is going just the way it should.

“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding your self that everything happens for a reason.” - John Mayer

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Life is fragile

8/12/2018

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I started writing this post about two weeks ago but for some reason I found it hard to finish then, now it’s not hard anymore, even though the ending is quite different than I imagined. 😢So, beginning of this is written after being in Indonesia for two weeks and ending now when I have already returned back home, back to Finland.

I have now lived on this small Indonesian Gili Air island about two weeks. Last week it suddenly hit me, I realized that the biggest dream that I have ever had is now reality. I have dreamt about working under Asian sun teaching yoga and enjoying the ocean view and the perfect weather.

I teach yoga six days a week (about 7-10 hours) in a place called H2O yoga and meditation centre. In addition I also do karma yoga two hours daily and this covers my living at the center.

One thought stopped me thinking about life a few times actually. At first the thought took me over like a tsunami, this was probably two days after my arrival. I sat on the beach enjoying the warm weather and the ocean realizing that everything that I had ever dreamt of has now come true. And once I realized it fully I was so incredibly happy. But… What happens then? What happens after everything that you have ever dreamt of actually come true? Do I have to think about new dreams? I shared this fear with my friend and she said it so wisely, now you just have to live your dream, you don’t need new dreams. ❤

Every day on this island is like a dream to me. I keep staring the ocean and I feel like I have to pinch myself so I can really feel that this is actually true. I mean everything that led me into this situation has been like a dream to me and it all happened so fast.

After first two weeks I started to feel like home on the island but still I was also so restless and unsure about the future and whether I really do want to stay there for the next 7 months or not. I was sure that it was mostly about the fact that I was missing my routines and was hoping that those routines would give me balance and stability to live there. So I focused on my own yoga practice and studying more about yoga and going to gym regularly. Still feeling restless somehow.

On Sunday 5.8. after being on the island exactly one month I had a talk with my boss about my future in the center and we agreed that I will continue to teach there for the next 7 months. Which would mean that I’d get more responsibilities to also teach on retreats and workshops. I have to admit that after this conversation I still was unsure about this decision but then thought it’s only 7 months and those 7 months would be such a great opportunity for me. It was all that I had ever dreamt of; teaching yoga daily.

The day before I had a minor sunstroke and on that Sunday evening I was thinking that I do have to eat something after fasting for one day even though I still didn’t feel that good. At 6.30 PM I hopped on my bike and cycled to one of my favourite restaurants on the island and found out that it was closed. I felt dissappointed when I headed to beach road where guys from my favourite coffee place were wondering where I had been for the past few days. I continued riding by the ocean to the other end of the island because I suddenly got this urge for french fries and I knew just where to get the best ones. I sat on the beach eating even though wind on that night was kind of rough. I ate my fries reluctantly thinking they aren’t that good after all.

My office view at Orong Villages

When I left the beach I thought that I had to go to grocery because I wasn’t feeling that good and I hoped that Sprite would help me. I drove to Siti Shop (island’s supermarket) and realized it was closed. Damn, does everything have to be closed today, I was wondering. Next small shop was near by so I decided to go there. I was searching through the drink collection unable to make a decision on what do I want after all. Then all of the sudden the building started to shake. I realized immediately what was going on rushing to the door thinking that I’m good here. Luckily the clerk threw me out of there. The earthquake just kept on going, afterwards somebody told it lasted for one minute. I don’t actually know how long it took but it was really strong. It felt like it was shaking a little at first and then being more harsh and in a way more demanding. My bike fell on the street and then the electricity went off, after that the earth under me was moving in a way that I fell on the street also. And then there was nothing. I waited for a while and took my bike and my phone so I would have flashlight to find my way home. Luckily I was able to send one message home (to Finland) saying that there was strong quake and I was ok and soon after that phones didn’t work anymore.

I had only about 200 meters to go home and there were minor chaos on the way. Concrete fence of one building was in the middle of the street, buildings were damaged. Outside one shop there was this young girl crying dreary. I stopped and asked if she was ok. She assured she was but was worried about her mother. I tried to comfort her telling that I was sure that her mother was just fine. Then I made my way to home. Yon from our Good Earth Cafe was on the street pointing the way with a flashlight telling me that it might not be safe to go back to H2O now. I turned around and bumped into Jeneva, our new yoga teacher, who had just arrived H2O few days ago. She had hurt her leg and didn’t have any shoes on. She told me that she had been in the main house when the quake started. There was some damages on the ceiling of her room and she had had difficulties to get out of the building. Leaning into each other we headed on to our neighbors yard where we found other people as well, locals and tourists. Sitting on the ground scared and shaking we felt the first of the hundreds of aftershocks, wondering whether it’s possible that the electricity pole on the street could actually fall on us.

A little while later we heard our boss Jon's voice on the street from the H2O direction. We went to talk to him. Jon told us there is this hill about 100 meters from the street and he knew that some people went there. And if we wanted, he could show us the way. Our island is almost flat and this hill couldn’t be more than 10 meters high but still open space felt suitable place where we could spend our night. The field was full of people; we found our friend Becci and our yoga teacher Clare there. Quite quickly we made the decision to spend our night there, later I found out that the field was actually cows pasture. 😉 While in there we were admiring the starry sky and countless shooting stars. Soon wondering about the silence on the island where usually is not that quiet because at least the roosters were always telling each other where they were. Sometimes the silence was broken by horses neigh which made us wonder what they have just sensed which we don’t know anything about. Then it was all quiet again. After a while we heard a wave of waves, and probably everyone was thinking, that hopefully that rush will not come near us in the form of tsunami. At some point the silence was broken by the dog barking from Lombok. In addition to our worry, was the temperature which might drop under 20 degrees, which might be a bit cold when wearing only shorts and top. Clare and Becci decided to go back to their houses and get some blankets for us. After that all us four settled down on one round blanked, which diameter was probably 1,2 meters, trying to get some sleep. There were aftershocks constantly and in between those shocks you could actually feel how the earth trembled. It felt like it never settled down. Still, I think all of us managed to sleep that night.

At dawn everybody was leaving from the hill. We headed to Becci’s and Clare’s. Once there we found out that there is risk of those places collapsing at any time, so Jeneva and I decided to head back to H2O immediately and collect our stuff. H2O was there but the main house was quite badly damaged. I got my things out of my room and after that we all gathered outside and had a morning tea. Becci came back a while later chatting with some of the guests and making plans on how to get to Lombok or where from there. I on the other hand had no clue what I was going to do. And I have to say I was numb. I didn’t speak anything because I could’t. Fortunately Becci was demanding me to make decision telling that it’s my well-being that we are talking about now, it my life, it’s about staying alive. So I packed my luggage and said goodbye to everyone and there we were, ready to leave. The way to harbor was chaotic; hotel which was under construction had major cracks all over, collapsed buildings and unfortunately dead body. Harbor was also a chaos with all the people trying to find boat and their way out from the island. It took us probably about two hours before we actually got on to a boat. Unfortunately I have to say that some people were smelling money in the situation we were in. Meaning that our despair and panic were also taken advantage of. I understand that our situation was and is far better than theirs but still I was sad to witness this. Boat ride that normally costs 12 000 rupiah was now 50 000. On Lombok the situation concerning the help wasn’t any better. Ministery of foreign affairs instructed that local authories will assist us further but local police men did not speak any English and they really didn’t seem to be that eager to help us; unfortunately. We continued further inland trying to find a bus to airport.

On the way we were offered to have a private transportation for 1,5 million rupiah per person (usually private car costs around 350 000-500 000 rupiah). Finally we found a bus which had space for us. Even though we found our way out of the harbor I felt sad about the fact how little they actually cared about us in this situation, hoping it would had been more like “hey, we are in this together”. From the chaos we eventually got to the airport and to Kuta Lombok, where Becci was holidaying just week before. When we were there, we thought we had earned a good cup of coffee.

By the cup of coffee we were thinking about our next move. Or Becci was actually, I was desperately trying to find my way (flight) out from Lombok to Bali; anywhere actually. Connection in that cafe was so poor that I asked my friend from Bali to help me to find flight for me. She also told me that I’m welcome to spend some time at her house. Finally after an hour I found a flight to Kuala Lumpur on Tuesday night. Meanwhile Becci had found us place to sleep the next night and next we headed to check that place out. It was two storey building and our room was on the ground floor which made us a little tense because we could still feel the aftershock all the way in Kuta Lombok. We were investigating the cracks on the walls deciding that the place probably is just fine for us for that one night. Real issue for us staying there was actual towels or lack of them. 😉 We asked staff to bring us towels and they told us all the towels are in laundry at that moment but we would get fresh towels the next day. But when you haven’t showered for two days and you had slept on the cows pasture, this probably is not the thing you want to hear. And because they were reluctant in getting us towels from somewhere, we decided that maybe it’s better to stay somewhere else.

The next place was quite far and it was surely kind of hard to find. It was in the middle of the village among the locals. Once we got there we were told that they are fully booked. But they told us that in the same yard there was this one house with a room and Becci negotiate a room for us for 150 000 rupiah. This deal also included fresh towels. 😊 We settled in fully aware of the aftershocks that could be felt under our feet from time to time. And we could only laugh when we realized there is a mosque in the courtyard less than 50 meters away from our house, which would mean the wake-up call around five in the morning. Still we were so happy that we found a place and that the place were only on storey high and there weren’t any cracks on the walls of that place (and seriously I’ll never look at the cracks on the buildings the same way than before).

Before we crawled into bed that night, we placed all our stuff by the door just in case there is sudden need to leave the building. Couple of stronger aftershocks woke us up from our sleep and got us outside where also the locals were wondering about the situation. We agreed that maybe we sleep in shifts that night just in case. After 2 AM we desided that maybe we just sleep. All that we had been through was so exhausting that Becci didn’t even hear to mosque in the morning and I only witness the first seconds of it and then fell asleep again.

Our little home in the middle of the village

In the morning I was still unsure where I would head next, but in the end, however, I booked a flight to Finland on Friday. Around 2 PM we headed to the airport so Becci could continue to Bali and I to Kuala Lumpur. At the airport we met siblings who were sleeping just next to us on that night on the hill and one couple that we met some where along the way. And we all had only on goal in mind, to get back home safely.

When I was finally safe in the hotel room in Kuala Lumpur I broke into tears. Not only because I realized that I was safe from the quakes (hopefully) but because I didn’t really know what the situation of some people was, people that I’ve met during this month. At first I was thinking about waiter boy in our Cafe at H2O, who I had barely spoken with but who started to call me his girlfriend and remembered to tell me daily that he loved me. ❤ He left to Lombok day before the quake being little sick and I have no idea how he is now and what is the situation of his family. I’m also worried about other boys as well, all of them were always so funny, telling jokes which I mostly didn’t get but who always made me laugh so hard. They had such a good vibes. I also wonder about boys and girls at Orong Villages, who took care of my caffeine needs, always smiling and asking how I was even if I was just passing by them on the beach. Our pineapple lady Hati who came on to Gili Air from Lombok everyday to work on the beach. Family who prepared my daily curry portion at Warung ZZZ, whose living room was the restaurant “hall”. Boys at Musa Cookery whose "Hello Finland, how are you?" greetings I can still hear in my head. Not to mention all the wonderful people I did not even have chance to get to know. In general all the people who worked on the island had families on Lombok and I can only hope, that people that I know are all alive and that they'll get through this. ❤

One of the first sane thought, while living in the middle of this chaos, was that I need to get rid of the stuff I don’t need. I don’t know where that came from but it was very clear and strong idea. It is actually quite meaningless how much stuff you have if you are dealing with the matter of life and dead. And I do have so much more than enough. And even though I am kind of starting point at the moment myself, without a job and without a plan, I really do want to help these people who have lost everything. And who are completely dependent on the outside support and help. And the thing I’m now talking about is clean drinking water and food. Have you got $10 to spare? You can now also help the people I just told you about. Employees at H2O and their communities that have been effected by the devastation of the recent earthquakes. They all are living in Lombok, some has lost family members, some their homes either partly or totally, they have only limited amount of water and food. And because there are aftershocks all the time, there aren’t any guarantees that the situation will settle soon.
What does $10 buy you in Lombok?

One bag of 20kg cement
Enough food and water for 20 people
10 litres of fuel to run generators
3 t-shirts.

Every Monday you can see the update from H2O’s Facebook page on how it has been distributed. (https://www.facebook.com/h2oyogaandmeditation/)
How to do it? Just click on the link at the bottom of this post, scroll to the bottom of the page and use the paypal 'extras' icon to make your donation. Please spread the love. ❤
http://www.h2oyogaandmeditation.com/4-day-unlimited-yoga-packages/

Keep in mind that even the smallest amount of money could be a lifesaver. ❤